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Friday, May 09, 2008

it seems that there's a lot to know when you have the time to take it slow

...or, more likely, when you're made to have to take it slow(ly).

I've learned a lot over the past...wait, what day is it? I guess since April 3rd when we found out, for certain, that Bubby has partial hearing loss. My problem (which, come on, is it really a problem?) is how I prefer to work out these things: Okay, today is Thursday and I just found out, so let's schedule three appointments for Friday and get it all fixed no later than Monday. This is not how things work out. Your next appointment, which has to be had before he can even get the referral for being fitted for hearing aids, is in two and a half weeks because that's when that specialty doctor is available. After that, you make the phone call for the next available appointment which could be in less than a week but -- oh, did you say that two audiologists are required? Make that another two and a half weeks. You get the picture.

It's frustrating for me to be at the beck (clap hands) and call of the scheduling girls on the phone (we've discussed this before, no?). Yet, I also feel a great peace and sincere gratitude that we have insurance to cover all this stuff, as well as relatively close access to some of the best pediatric specialists in the country.

Having to wait is good for me, as it forces me to be patient, slow down, and try to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from having to wait. One huge thing that I've learned is that the good I'm going to bring to pass is going to come, in large part, from what I'm doing with my time in between appointments. As a result, I spend my minutes taking the time to help Bubby understand that in order to get more animal crackers, the signs "more," "cookie," and "please" will help. Even though this makes meals & snack times last ten times longer than they normally would, we do it, and when I go to bed at night I feel that I'm closer to our goal of having him consistently sign "please" by the end of the week. Moreover, I feel peaceful about the fact that, if that goal is not reached by this Saturday, I'm confident that I've done what I can this week, and when I reevaluate my goals on Sunday I'm okay and will still feel accomplished if the goal needs another week.

Living diaper-to-diaper, it's what I'm doing. Is it weird that I'm loving it? People have been very sympathetic and helpful, expressing their concern and love and worries that we've been dealt too much. I so appreciate these friends! I want them to know that it's really, REALLY okay. We're taking things as they come, and it's working out. The hip displasia? She's wearing a brace. At least it's not a body cast. The EKG? The results show that his heart is perfectly healthy and has nothing to do with his hearing loss. The other EKG? Well, yes, she has a tiny hole in her heart, but it will most likely close by the time she's a year old, and I was told not to worry, so I'm not going to. I find myself in a more constantly serious frame of mind than I've ever been, but it's keeping me sharp and helping me eliminate crap from my life and therefore be more awesome.

Being made to take it slowly has allowed for some serious self-reflection time, and it's been needed more than I realized. Lucky for me, my seester's coming for a visit, so we can take it slow(ly) together. Lucky for both of us.


Anonymous said...

It's not weird that you're loving it. It's wise of you. I appreciate your example as there are things I am learning from you about living day-to-day. Thank you.

And, as always--prayers and best wishes.

Kalli Ko said...

When you deal with a lot you learn how to find the joy in the small things, like your insurance ponying up the dough, I'd find joy in that too!

And you should love it, it's your life, right?

sue-donym said...

This will be a side of you I am excited to see blossom. ( I really hate the word blossom - but nothing else came to mind)

You continue to be an inspiration to me.

Proverbs 31 will be your epitaph.

swampbaby said...

You are a rock star ~j!

TheOneTrueSue said...

I wasn't sure what to say in a comment that wouldn't sound lame, so I'll just say what I think - You seem so strong and I really admire your attitude.

More Caffiene, Please said...

You win the most inspiring award of the year with this one. Holy cow. One of my best friends has (and is dealing) with the hip issues with her little girl for over a year. She is also all too familiar with the brace(s).

Bek said...

Yay for sisters, yay for holes that close on their own (all 4 of mine have had that particular issue) and good luck with the hip stuff, Norah had that too but Grace missed it...

I am PROUD of you for doing your signs. It does take longer but you are giving him such a gift. And your other girls will be able to have a "secret language" that the rest don't know. :-)

Hang in there and thanks for the update.

Rynell said...

I admire your strength and that you are loving it.

sarah said...

Wow it took us a while to figure out why that title sounded so familiar, but nice veiled Sunfall Festival reference there. You're awesome.