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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

homework: Write Away Seminar: Poet's Corner

Homework: Channel your inner poet for the assignment you choose. Or be inspired. ~Write a line from a song or poem that speaks to you. Explain why.

“…Twenty-three and so tired of life, such a shame to throw it all away. The images grow darker…still, could I have been anyone other than me? And then I, I look up at the sky; my mouth is open wide. Lick and taste, what’s the use in worrying? What’s the use in hurrying? Turn, turn, we almost become dizzy…” (from my favorite song)

At the age of 23, I gave birth to my first son, my second child. He was stillborn due to a cord accident. Three days later, we buried him.

I was tired. Exhausted. In fact, if I’m being honest, if I didn’t have my oldest daughter to take care of at that time, I’m not sure I would have survived the whole ordeal. What I wouldn’t have given to have someone else’s lot at that point. Except…

…except for what I did have. What I do have. On occasion, I’d glimpse the bigger picture, see that I was, that I am, blessed. That my faith is what would, has, and does, make me whole. What I know is what makes the completion, what compensates for the question: WHY? I could feel that it, that I, would be okay.

October 1st, 2009: nine years to the day of when I found out that the baby I was carrying was no longer alive. [this, likely, is why all my posts of late revolve around this topic.] Nine years later, there is still hurt. But I’m better at not worrying, at not hurrying; to be aware of my blessings is dizzying . . . and still, my daughter helps me in surviving.

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Kuulei said...

Ah Jenny...your tender heart is one of the most beautiful things about you. I love your words...I love you. You are truly magnificent in a world of slightly average to somewhat adequate. I am grateful for you everyday. All my love. K.

Gerb said...

Beautiful, Jenny.

Semi Granola Mom said...

Ah, you are such a strong example my sweet friend :)


La Yen said...

Your daughters help me survive, too.

Guileless Mom said...

Beautiful. I know this will sound strange, but I look forward to these posts every year. They move me in a way that is necessary.

Travelin'Oma said...

This is such a poignant post. Thank you for your wisdom.

Miranda said...

I've read too many of your posts without leaving comments. Your writing is so beautiful. Your faith is even more beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.