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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

times changing

I look around and am struck by how things are changing. I barely have time to catch my breath and take notice because when I am done formulating my thoughts, things have changed drastically, yet again.

My oldest is eight and a half years old. She is in third grade. Third grade. I remember practically every moment of third grade, or, I think I do. What from this time will she remember? She's growing up so quickly. We've talked about the birds and the bees, and I'm glad that she seems to be looking forward to, rather than repulsed by, the idea of having to wear a bra in the future. I'm pleased with our relationship, and tread into it each day with caution, feigning confidence. One of my main objectives at this point is to let her know that she can come to me for truth: if she hears something contrary to what she has been taught, or even instinctively knows, she can come to me, and together we can help her find the answers she wants and needs. In this forum I refer to her as li'l ~j., and it's true. I see it more and more in her, physically, mentally, emotionally -- in every way. I hope it's something that she's pleased with.

Curly is almost six years old. Since her birthday is just beyond the school deadline, she is one of the oldest in her grade. Yet, she has a quality about her which suggests being younger than she is. She is a homebody. She loves being surrounded by family, cuddling, being home, mothering her younger sister, helping in the kitchen. Being almost the same age as kids who have started first grade, she just began kindergarten, yet people ask me if she's in preschool yet. She's not slow for her age; on the contrary, she's extremely bright, but she's content to sit back and let others enjoy center stage. She's at an age where her queries alone won't let me hang on to her as my baby anymore: she's growing up, and quickly.

On a daily basis, I thank Superstar for being so happy. "Are you happy?" "Yep!" Three and a half, and not a care in the world. She goes to preschool and it's no big deal: like everything else in her life, it is what it is. And it's her lot, and she's pleased with it. Last week, though, when we took her older sisters to their school, Superstar cried as we drove away. She does NOT like to be away from her sisters. She can feel that being together as a family is the right place to be. Her imagination is very active, and I love watching her play, giving her toys their own voices. She sings more than her sisters did at this age, and it's hilarious to watch her play the guitar. She's quick to offer a prayer, quicker to offer a hug, a kiss, or a smile. Not too long ago, she spoke her own language, and it was hilarious -- no one could understand. That time has faded, and it makes me ponder how one grows up to be a little girl.

Bubby . . . oh, my son. I cannot believe that it has almost been a year since he was born. He is such a big baby -- he weighs almost as much as Superstar, and is catching up in height, too. People always comment on his size, but I have a feeling he may 'level out', as Curly did when she was a baby, not that it would matter if he was big for his whole life long. As for myself, I look at him in awe: he's too big to be my baby, yet too small to be a big brother. His eyes are a different color than mine, or his dad's, or his sisters'; all the kids were born with blue eyes, but his stayed blue rather than change to brown or hazel. And a stunning blue they are! His hair needs a cut; as much as I'd desperately love to make him the long-haired baby hippie that are so trendy these days, I'm afraid his curls are going to have to go, if for no other reason than that he sweats like a...well, something that sweats a lot. He is walking and laughing and growing, and I love getting to know him more everyday.

Those are the changes I've taken a minute to record. I'll have give you an update on all of that next spring, after I've spent the school year living in my van, driving these treasures all over the valley on a daily basis for This, That, and The Other. I am blessed, to be certain.


C. Jane Kendrick said...

You are blessed. I am certain!

More Caffiene, Please said...

WHAT a sweet post.

I try to write a letter to each of my boys at least on their birthday, sometimes every six months or so and often when I feel like it. They're exactly what this post is - all about them and what it means for me to be their mom. They're not fancy, just typed and printed on plain old paper and then tucked away in their memory book. And so, you've inspired me, it's time for new entries!

JC said...

They do grow quickly. And it's ok to live in your van, so long as it's not down by the river. ;)

sue-donym said...

This morning's conversations...

"How are you Superstar?" "I'm Fee!"

Curly to me. "Do you sell Mary Kay, because you wear make up" and "Are those your real nails", and "your earrings look like raindrops".

Bubby just flirted. As usual.

Gosh I love your kids.

Carina said...

Those are some quality kids for sure--not a knock off in the lot.

Thanks for the ideas MCP & ~j, I need to do some writing of my own.

Lyle said...

Your kids will cherish such thoughts...many years down the road, when life needs some bumps smoothed out.

Anonymous said...

He's walking...:(. That's my frown. I miss your kids. I mean it. I'm crying.

La Yen said...

This is killing me, Smalls.

Geo said...

It's a post like this that stirs up the butterflies in my pergnant belly and makes me excited and hopeful for unfolding relationships.

My Ku'ulei said...

I love the way you talk about your sweet little family. Its been such a blessing to watch those little sun beams come into your life. Ah Jenny, there is nothing like a good Mother's love...unless it is a totally awesome blog account of said feelings LOL. You are amazing!

Love you!

QueenScarlett said...

I totally know what you mean about wondering what they will remember. I keep wondering... I hope she remembers that Mommy is a happy person... that I'm not always tired.;-)

I love these lines:

"...driving these treasures..."
"I am blessed, to be certain."


ps. I hope that I will have that kind of open relationship with my girls. I'll be asking you for guidance. ;-)

ash said...

I want to grow up and be a mom like you.

Christi said...

I have to tell you, j, that I had a dream about you last night. I was on campus where my hubby is a student out here and there was a concert going on mid-day in the middle of the "quad" although it's not like the one there. I looked up and there you were with lil j and the two of you were having a GREAT time. Of course, I was completely shocked seeing you as you were about 1500 miles out of town. Lucky for me! I love your posts.

Anonymous said...

um, i just back from my honeymoon. and i am stuck on this... "too big to be my baby but too little to be a big brother." does that mean what i think it means? you know what? i'm just going to call you and find out.

Tori :) said...

Thanks for all the updates!! I can't believe how old your kids are. I knew MY kids got older, but I forgot others children grow also. ;)

Tori :) said...

I totally read that line and for some reason it didn't click.

~j. said...

ceej - and also with you.

mcp - thanks! You do a great job of making sweet tributes to your boys.

jc - tee hee.

sue - thanks for bringing Bubby's girlfriend. They're so funny.

azu' - thank you!

la yen - like a traffic jam when all you need is a knife.

lyle - good point. "Look! Remember when you were sweet?"

mo - thank you for commenting. I appreciate it.

la yen - *snicker*

geo - I love you.

kuu - you are an amazing example of a mother who loves.

queen - you are also a WONDERFUL example of chronicling your relationships with your kids. You do such a great job!

ash - you are sweet.

yours truly - a dream?! Wow! Check us out, hanging out together in dreams...

beans - ta da!

tori - I always think the SAME THING when I see photos/videos of your kids: "When did THEY grow up?"