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Sunday, April 30, 2006

i'm just sayin'

What my husband did today:

7:am - meeting
9-12 - attend another ward's ward conference (coming home during Sunday School to say hello to his family)
1-4 - attend our own church meetings (holding sleeping daughter so that I could teach my class)
5 - home teaching
6 - our home teachers come over
7-8:30 pm - another meeting
8:45-current - trying to reach his dad by phone to tell him happy birthday
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it
holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the
seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any

What I did today:

12:20 am - got home from a WICKED GOOD birthday party; had a WICKED BAD headache
7 - heard kids wake up; turned on the television instead of a 'Sunday Movie' (headache still there)
8:55 - answered the phone; husband says he'll be home to see us during Sunday School
9:45 - get up and get the kids some food (and by food, I mean string cheese and frozen go-gurts)
10:50 - go back to sleep as husband leaves to go back to the other ward
12:15 - get up and cook Kraft Dinner; take a shower; apologize to entire family for making us all late to church
4:30 - call my dad; heat up leftover soup and feed people
6:pm - entertain home teachers until husband gets home (late) from his own appointment
7:pm - put oldest to bed; play with youngest
8:pm - 4 yr. old wakes up from 3 hour nap (gre-e-a-a-a-a-t)


LuckyRedHen said...

How ironic (thank you Alanis).

Today's combined 3rd hour was the Bishop telling us NOT to crowd our days with too many committments. Maybe you should move to our ward ;o)

WICKED GOOD party indeed.

So is my blog post.

Carina said...

That means she's still awake!

dalene said...

Ouch! You struck a nerve. After I tell you I hope your headache went away and your four-year-old went back to bed sometime before this morning, I need to say three things. Then I'll step down from my soapbox.

I actually went to our ward clerk recently and reminded him that it's supposed to be about time (not just the programs) and pointed out one of several weeks we have had in which there has been something planned every night--Tuesday through Sunday--to take parents out of their homes. I asked him, "Isn't part of the purpose of correlation meeting to prevent weeks like this?" I am thankful he listened and shared my concerns. They are making an effort.

When my children were much younger and I was pregnant with number four and my husband was working two jobs he was also second counselor in the bishopric. To this day I am so very thankful that the bishop at that time was one of those who didn't hold meetings just for the sake of holding a meeting and who believed in keeping those he did have short and sweet and to the point. It doesn't mean my husband was home that much, but I do know from observation it could've been a lot worse.

I am thankful that every time I have been set apart I have been reminded to put my family first. I love that. It's part of what keeps me coming back.

(note: I am not saying I begrudge my service or that of anyone else. I'm just saying it is so hard to find the right balance and I appreciate leaders who remember and make an effort to do so.)

Lyle said...

Finding the Sabbath- Like the Children of Isreal wandering for forty years or Lehi's company and their journey to the promised land....Planned trips to the temple that never quite get off the ground. Often intentions are good, and good people's intentions allow the elusive Holy Grail to slip from our grasp. Every now and then I have had the privilage to find my Sabbath Day and what a treat they are.

Even, when my wanderings do not bring me to my point of destination, I try to keep in the perspective that there are usually residual licks of manna crumbs or complete snack size bites during the day as I try to set the worldly things aside.

So I empathize and my heart goes out to those whose spouses have time demanding church callings. It only makes the Sabbath harder to find.

La Yen said...

We played the rotovirus-induced hooky. Excellent Sabbath.

LuckyRedHen said...

It's all relative.

When picking up Jack from his friends house today, I got a little "I don't wanna go home" song-and-dance (he usually is ready to leave and see daddy). Last Tuesday he asked if it was FHE again. Not until next week. Every day he would ask if we could have FHE. So I reminded him that it's FHE tonight. "I HATE Family Home Evening." It's all relative.

~j. said...

sew - I'd love to move to your ward - thanks for the invite.

My kids think every night is Family Home Evening (on the other nights we just read scriptures) and the biggest insult is to be sent to bed without having participated in FHE - they came up with that, not me.

carina - I don't remember if she fell asleep before I did...

compulsive - Yes, yes, and yes. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm complaining (hence, the title). I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest and Darin was called to be a counselor in the bishopric. I cried and cried, envisioning our children not knowing their dad & never being able to sit by him at church, etc., until a friend pointed out to me, plain as day, "Well, there are worse things you could lose your husband to." And so I don't complain.

That being said, I find it COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS that he had a meeting on conference Sunday AND an extra meeting ON EASTER. Give me a freakin' break.

I remember reading a talk (I think it was in conference) with a quote regarding meetings that said that it's not a bad thing to have a meeting go for a shorter time than was originally scheduled. Yay!! Don't I wish.

I read a book by Gene R. Cook that I thought had some really good ideas. He talks about when he and his family lived in South America - every night was Family Home Evening, due simply to lack of other worthwhile activities elsewhere. When they moved back to the states (UT), he counted 37 church activities in one month for which at least one member of his family was "expected" to attend. His bishop approached him, concerned that his family was not supporting the ward. "What do you mean, Bishop?" The bishop said that there had been a scout activity (or something) the night before, and the Cooks were supposed to have attended but didn't (in addition to other activities). Elder Cook gently put the bishop in his place. "Bishop, had we come to the church last night we would have missed out on an excellent family devotional that we held in our home. Besides, I believe that the church is meant to support the family; not the other way around."

Even in Darin's stake council meeting yesterday, when talking about scheduling activities, it was mentioned that two questions need to be asked: Does it increase testimonies of the Savior? Does it bring families closer together? Answering yes to these two questions means it's a worthwhile activity.

lyle - I like your crumbs/snack-sized bites analogy. It can't always be a feast, can it?

yen - blech. get well.

QueenScarlett said...

~J - I'm with Elder Cook. And... wow - that Sunday is... not a Sunday that ought to happen for any family.

The Church is there to support the family - not the other way around. I remember in an institute class - they talked about how things will be governed when Christ comes again - ruled by families. There will be no need for gov't, church - because the family is central. So yeah, it always bugs when callings, work and other accessories interfere with placing the family as priority one.

There is nothing wrong with asking to be released from a calling that is straining marriage and family life. It's a duty (and no one has the right to make you feel guilty) that we talk to our leaders when things are getting far too hectic. They can't be omnipresent... so it's up to us to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause" -- our families.

Sometimes with callings it's like some people turn into pharisees - where they're all about putting on a good show with this calling or that calling and then they like to look down on others that aren't making a good show of it. To those people I like to say - "No success can compensate for failure in the home." So take that. hehhehe

Lyle said...

For clarification- I wasn't suggesting that the inability to find the Sabbath was a direct result from anyones unrighteousness. It is the blindness of some that cause the rest to suffer. It is an easy trap to fall into.

I do agree with Queen Scarlet that some people adopt a Pharisee attitude to live the letter of the law versus the spirit of the law.

cabesh said...

You know how I feel about this. My sympathies.

Tori :) said...

It sounds like Sei saw your hubby more than you. It was OUR ward conference he was at. Sorry!!

La Yen said...

Nothing to do with this post, but I wanted to say that they pic of you on the blog of Miss "guesswhatthis cost?" is FABULOUS!!! You look like old Phread--all happy and care-free. You should smile like that and wear pink and a ponytail all day. (I can't believe W didn't kiss you, if you looked as happy as that in the day!)
(And, yes, I am insinuating that you are no longer happy and care-free, and you are an ocean and a prom.)

Geo said...

Three words for your Sunday schedule: LONE AND DREARY.

~j. said...

cabesh - I know we're on the same team.

tori - Darin told me he saw Sei, but that you had to run off to primary. Why do we not see each other ever??

yen - that's the nicest thing I've heard today. In many days. Thank you and thank you. You're the prom.

geo - well said, and amen.

Lorien said...

I know I'm late on this boat, but I so hear you. It took me a long time not to resent the time my hubby spent with the young men (1 weekend camp a month? we don't even get anywhere near that many vacations!). That peace finally came, and not from within me--I know it was a blessing. Then he got released and is now EQP. Way less time than YMP! Plus, older kids are way easier to do the Sunday morning thing than with a couple of toddlers, so the Sun am meetings aren't so bad. Now, you might think I sound like I mean you just need to come to peace with not having the hubby around. Not what I mean at all, just that I finally found my balance, and it meant me making more of an effort at not being resentful (as best I could).

And my hubby and I hate meetings and we totally appreciate people who keep em short and sweet. And Conference and Easter? Thank you, NO! Draw the line, baby! WWJD?