Monday, March 19, 2012

Why I didn't say anything to Ty Burrell

covertly taken by Kristina

On Saturday evening, for our SassyScoops review, we decided to try out a hip, new restaurant in downtown Salt Lake City called Pallet. As we sat waiting for our table and talking with the owner, my eyes were drawn to the people approaching the glass door.

"Ohmygosh! You guys!"

My friends looked over at me. "What?"

"Look! It's Ty Burrell! Oh my gosh. I can't believe this!"

Emily asked, "Do you know him?"

"Uh, of course I do!"

Maybe you haven't met Emily. She's perhaps the perfect blend of kind and professional, always acting appropriately in any situation. This means, of course, that as he opened the door and walked inside, Emily turned to Ty Burrell and helpfully said, "I think she knows you," gesturing to me.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

I quickly and firmly said, "No, nope. No. Hi. Nope."

My friends, confused as Mr. and Mrs. Burrell walked directly to their table, looked at me, again. "I thought you said you know him."

"Yeah, but not because I know him! Because I watch him on television every Wednesday. He's on Modern Family."

I then may have launched into some pathetic attempt at explaining just how much television means to me, which is not a lie, but might be, under the right circumstances, embarrassing.

I also may have needed to step outside to get some fresh air. Maybe I did this five times or so.

During dinner, just feet away from Ty Burrell, I sent the appropriate text messages (response from La Yen: "DO NOT FREEZE! This is our dream!!") and updated facebook, but despite encouragement from my SassyFriends, I couldn't approach him for a photo. I asked one of the owners if Ty Burrell was a frequent guest at Pallet, to which the answer was: "This is his first time, but he says he loves it." My hope was that I could ask the owner to discreetly approach their table and say something along the lines of, "There is someone here who would appreciate getting a photo with you; would you mind?" so as not to make a scene, but I didn't feel it was right to ask for that favor.

It took me just a little while, but I finally realized why I was okay with not saying anything (other than NO) to Ty Burrell, and here it is:

He was on a date with his wife. They were out, just the two of them, without their daughter. I didn't want to approach him because he was with his wife. This is not to say that I was intimidated by her (she's cute!), but that I didn't want to taint their evening in any way ("Can't we just have one night without someone asking for a picture?!") (I'm not saying she'd say that -- in fact, I'm imagining them both being very gracious -- but even if she didn't say it, I wonder if she'd think it.). I, a very, very little bit (on maybe a scale of a billion times smaller), might know what she feels like; because, though my husband is not famous, I know what it's like to feel like you have to share your husband with a million other people. And, not that you mind (there are worse things), but it's still nice to have that night out.

P.S. - Go to Pallet.
P.P.S. - Don't get a parking ticket.


wendysue said...

See? This proves that all our TV watching really is worth it. Secretly recognizing stars? AWESOME!

Kristina P. said...

I still laugh, thinking about how verklempt you were. You are always so cool and collected, but you sort of lost it there.

I think that moment you shared in the entrance will not be forgotten by him.

Can I have more beer cake?

Blue said...

I never know who anyone is. I've never seen Modern Family before, nor heard of Ty Burrell. I'm an embarrassment.

People always ask me if I've ever flown any celebs, and yes, I've had a few. Once we had a completely sold out flight, but there was one man sitting in a row by himself. The gate agent told me "the gentleman in row 3 purchased all three seats so that he'd have the whole row."

So we're flying across the country and every time I pass this man's row, he seems to have some small favor/request of me. I help him, just as I do everyone else. At one point he offered me a sandwich he’d brought on board.

"That's very thoughtful of you, Sir", I replied sincerely, "but you don't have to give me your sandwich."

"No, I really want to. It's a great sandwich. I've got two of them. They're from a terrific deli in Manhattan. I insist”.

Not wanting to seem ungracious, I finally relented and accepted his sandwich and retreated to the galley where my co-workers were, and said "You know the gentleman in row three? He just gave me a sandwich. He says it's from a really great deli in Manhattan, and he had two of them and just hated to see it go to waste. Of course normally I'd never eat a sandwich from a customer, but I AM really hungry, and he seems like a pretty nice, normal guy..."

My co-workers are just staring at me this whole time. "You mean Montel?"


"That's Montel. Montel Williams. You know..."

Uh, apparently not...

"He's got a TV show...the Montel Williams Show" the other FA said, looking most unimpressed.

"You could sell your sandwich on e-Bay" the first FA said, laughing at me.

Melody said...

Well chosen responses. Both of them: The first being spontaneously quirky; the second being socially appropriate [do nothing] for the reasons you list above.

Fun night for all. Thanks for sharing.

La Yen said...

George, Phil, next? RON SWANSON.

mrs. r said...

Your reaction will forever be MY FAVORITE!

Still giggling about it!


Kim Orlandini said...

I missed all the fun and am so sad because of it.

Emily said...

I am still cracking up after reading your recap of events. I am a total idiot. But I am so glad you posted the "why" behind your reticence that evening. You are a superstar in my book.

Next time we're together, can I get a photo? Please?

P.S. That was my first ever parking ticket.

vanessa said...

He actually has two little ones now, they adopted another one :)

Emily said...

Oh, and in my defense, I didn't get a good look at who was coming in and didn't hear you say who it was. Of course, I only know him as Phil Dunphy, so I probably would've still thought he was a long-lost friend of yours named Ty. ;)

Marie {Make and Takes} said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Jordan and I knew he lived in SLC and heard he lived somewhere near K street. We may have stalked that street a few times, doin' a few drive-bys! But no luck.

I'm dying you saw him. But HOW do you say "no, nope, hi nope"?!!! You say "No, nope. Well, yes. I"m a huge fan of your work. Will you marry me?"

So cool!!

~j. said...

Wendy - yes. Every minute counts.

~j. said...

KP - I'm totally hungover from the beer cake.

~j. said...

J-Blue - That's pretty funny. Buying three seats? Is that unusual? It seems excessive to me.

~j. said...

Melody - thank you, Friend! It's now a great memory.

~j. said...

La Yen - that would be the equivalent of going to Paris, Madrid, and Hawai'i in one year. Psh. Like that happens.

~j. said...

mrs. r - I'm so glad you were there. So, so much fun.

~j. said...

Kimmy - you were missed!

~j. said...

Emily - maybe he is my long-lost friend named Ty. P.S. - have you phoned yet about your ticket?

~j. said...

vanessa - I hadn't heard that until today.

~j. said...

Marie - Next time. The proposal is for next time. You know, our second date.

Kazzy said...

So cool! Is he from SLC?

DeNae / SHP said...

Did you watch his Emmy acceptance speech? Brilliant. And if I had been there (which I wasn't because I'm not in you uber exclusive sassy club but whatever) I would have dumped a diet coke on him. So it's probably a good thing I'm not in your uber exclusive sassy club.

~j. said...

Kazzy - He's not from Salt Lake, but I think his wife is. Pretty neat, eh?

~j. said...

DeNae - YES. That speech made me love him a billion times more, and made me love his dad. And, of all the uber exclusive clubs I belong to, my favorite is the Diet Coke Wearing Club, and that, my friend, is because of YOU. All you.

AzĂșcar said...

That's what I would have done.

Stepper the Mighty said...

You have all the luck!

Also - when are you speaking next? I miserably missed your Story@Home hour because of a sick hubby (which is, you know, a good excuse, but whatever). I heard it was amazing.

This is twice, now, that I've missed you speaking.

Which feels, I imagine, a lot like missing a picture opportunity with Ty Burrell.