Thursday, May 13, 2010

all the day you'll have good luck

6:45 pm

"After-hours child care, how may I help you?"

"Hi. My six-year-old just swallowed a penny. But she's six, and she says she's fine. Should I be worried?"

"No, as long as she's not wheezing or choking. You do need to check to make sure the penny passes, and if it hasn't passed in seven days she'll need an x-ray."

"Mmmhm. Right. So . . . since she's six, and I need to make sure the penny passes . . . how exactly do you recommend I go about accomplishing this?"

"Well . . . uh, you should . . . um . . ."

"Get creative?"

"Yeah. When she has a bowel movement, tell her not to flush, and you'll need to fish it out and look for the penny."

"Great. That sounds super fun. I'll be sure and really do that. Thanks."





Don't forget about Blogs From The Big Chair! Any Big Chair works!

21 comments:

La Yen said...

No.
Just...no.


Also, new family rule: Every time mom has to fish through your poo the kid owes you ten dollars.

c-dub said...

sounds like your today will be even more fun than my yesterday.

luck w/ that.

Camille said...

Looks like you'll be investing in latex gloves! I say just get her x-rayed after 7 days. Would be a cleaner solution.

wendysue said...

Hmm. Too bad it wasn't a dime or a nickel. . .you know. . .all shiny and everything.

Fun times!!

Monica said...

Ha! That does sound super fun! Too bad we don't live close by. That way you could make James do it. That's what I would do anyway.

Lindsey Johnson said...

No! I couldn't do it. Just pretend. I swallowed a penny once when I was 4. No x-ray. No examination of you-know-what. I'm fine. She will be too.

Jerry said...

sounds familier to another story regarding your sister when you were growing up....remember? I still have the 2 nickels and they don't come out shiny and clean

sue-donym said...

This too shall pass.

Naomi Miles said...

Oh dear.... oh dear!

Christi said...

okay sue... that was good.

i, too, swallowed coinage when I was four. sino I swallowed two pennies stacked on top of each other and I remember going in to the hospital in my PJs, drinking the nasty stuff and climbing up on the table for the x-ray, very Curious George-esque. The doc told my mom the same thing--that she had to make sure they passed. I'll have to ask her about that. I don't envy you. Good luck.

And I know my story, but can I ask why she had a penny in her mouth? Just curious.

Tyla said...

Sounds the like story my hubby tells of the time he swallowed a light bulb he took off the Christmas tree. Who says BM's aren't any fun?

~j. said...

Let me be clear:

I am not going to do that.

As for Christi's question: I had the same question, and the only answer I could get from her, between sobs and wails, is that li'l ~j. made her swallow it.

Of course she did.

Christi said...

wow. maybe it's li'l j who is going to be needing the luck...

alexis said...

hmmm. i knew there was a reason i never carried cash with me. no spare change.

Mrs. Organic said...

Sue just makes me laugh. We had a close call with a watch battery once. Luckily we found it under the couch. Otherwise they would've had to fish it out because it could feasibly arc and burn her innards.

i i eee said...

What? You don't already fondle your children's poop on a regular basis?

Tsk, tsk.

myimaginaryblog said...

This seems as good a time as any to tell a favorite story. (It's totally unrelated other than featuring poop.)

So, this former professor of my husband's was living in Egypt and a couple of his kids contracted something yucky like Hepatitis or something, and to find the source of the infection the doctor required stool samples from his whole family AND the gardener, maid, etc. (Americans in Egypt always have hired help; it's noblesse oblige.) So he's riding the packed bus to the clinic and the bag with the samples is in his right hand, while his left hand clutches a pole in the bus. He feels a thief start to unbuckle his watch from his left wrist. He would have to let go of the bag in his right hand to do anything about it. So he lets the thief take his watch.

Carolyn said...

Swallowed a marble when I was five. Still remember my mom searching for it. Ahh, motherhood.

Kalli Ko said...

She'll be fine, just like Gus the dumb dog who ate his leather collar, and we didn't notice until we picked up dog poo and noticed a silver buckle nested in the turds. Other gross things that have come from my dog's anus: a whole skien of yarn, a rubber ball, a rubber band (dangling the other half of a turd, it was like a turd bungee) and I am finished because I have grossed myself out.

{natalie} said...

sick.

addi swallowed a dime once and i still have my fingers crossed that it passed.

ps. if i don't work out in the morning it doesn't happen. (yesterdays post)

Aubrey said...

You are better than me. I never look. I'm a gambler.