Friday, March 28, 2008

what married people say to each other

Thursday evening, 9:45-ish...

"How were your meetings tonight?"

"Oh, fine. I'm glad to be home."

"I'm glad you're home. I'm glad you'll make me a bagel and put the toaster on level three and push the bagel button to make it perfectly bagel-y toasted. And I'm glad you'll put butter on the bagel and also please some jugo de cranberri."

"Okay."

12-15 minutes later...

"That was so yummy. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I require another, and quickly before I can't sleep because of reflux. Please."

"Right now?"

"Please."

"Okay, how about a deal..."

"A deal?"

"Yes. A deal. I'll make you another bagel, and--"

"Yes, you'll make me another bagel and I'll stay home with the kids tomorrow. Deal."

"No, that's not the deal."

"Oh, I think that's a fine deal."

"The deal is, I'll make you another bagel, and you change Bubby's diaper."

"Oh, is that the running wage right now? Bagel for a diaper?"

"Yes."

"Then you'd better bring me three hundred thousand bagels."

19 comments:

wendysue said...

Brilliant! Oh, yes you are.

compulsive writer said...

Yes. What Wendysue said.

And thank you for helping me find a repentant heart. I just returned from a great wedding reception where they had dancing, which caused me to quietly lament (in my head--not out loud) the fact that because my husband doesn't dance anymore I don't get to dance anymore.

But your post reminds me that my husband would bring me perfectly toasted and buttered bagels if I asked him to even though I'm not pregnant and that reminds me that I have it pretty good, too, don't I?

AzĂșcar said...

Sounds familiar.

Queen Scarlett said...

ahhahahahahah

I'll trade a poopy diaper for a really good make-out session. ;-)

And... I'd like to echo wendysue too.

Shar said...

So right on! And what they (above) said.

And I also ate bagels constantly while gestating. But just with butter. And I'd chase it with a smoothie. And Rocky Road ice cream. That's why I gained 41 pounds I guess.

JC said...

Jugo de Cranberri. Love it.

Natalie said...

I hope that was a fair trade!

b. said...

I learn soooo much from you!

Leisha said...

I always offer my husband 'a thousand dollars' to do things for me. After 11 years, you'd think he'd finally get that I don't have a thousand dollars.

Amy said...

CheckMATE, Papi!

Gerb said...

I love it. Isn't it always their turn for diapers when they are home?

La Yen said...

I toyed with not potty training Jooj until W gets back, just so he doesn't think he is all through with the diapers. Still toying with it.

Kristen said...

Tooo familiar! I love it!

Ryan and Susie said...

I've been making lot's of those deals lately too...90% being for food.

Rynell said...

Right this very minute my husband is bathing one our children. Because I handled the entire day with kids, shuttled them, made food and hosted his family tonight. I think he can do the bath routine a few more hundred thousand times.

{cari} said...

This reminded me of my parents. My mom is getting her first Social Security check this month for her retirement. She told my dad that the first check she gets she'll be spending it the way she wanted. He had the nerve to say to her, "It's not like you ever paid into it." Her response was, "Well, it's not like you ever changed diapers, washed dishes, did laundry or anything else so this is MINE!" I loved that.

sue-donym said...

Grrr. No deals at my place. I trained him wrong, I'm afraid.

Sue said...

Heh heh heh.

Geo said...

You're a sitcom.