Monday, December 03, 2007

i wish i had a river

When I'm stressed, particularly about money, I make cookies. I bake a lot during the holidays. As I was rolling the peanut butter cookie dough in sugar yesterday, so many highs and lows raced through my mind, things from just this weekend...

Headache and grouchy mood on Friday evening.

Feeling the Spirit during a public prayer for the first time in ages.

Lovely snowy Saturday morning.

Having to go to work for seven hours.

Getting compliments from clients on my customer services.

Finding out she had a miscarriage.

Getting to go home and see all the lovely snowy lawn ornaments constructed by my kids.

Feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless at The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

Watching the dance recital on our computer and laughing and clapping.

Finding out they had a stillborn son.

Having meaningful conversations with my husband.

Finding out she has cancer.

Taking li'l ~j. on a Special Date, including her being so very brave in getting her ears pierced.

Being humbled and feeling peace in my attempt to envision deficits as abundance.

9 comments:

compulsive writer said...

"Being humbled and feeling peace in my attempt to envision deficits as abundance."

I know this challenge too well, but appreciate the beautiful way you put it as well as the reminder to try harder. Thank you.

b. said...

Ugh....so bittersweet.

What a blessing for us all to have you.

sue-donym said...

I can't believe the title to this post. Perfect. (Besides I love crying at stoplights)

Thanks for sharing these things. (and I'm sorry I was the bearer of some of the upsetting ones)

Julie said...

I always love reading your posts. But I hate it when I can't think of a really good comment. (sigh) Just know that you made me think today.

Geo said...

I am singing that song with you, quietly, in my head.

I love your heart.

Bek said...

Wow..that is a lot for one person to handle....

I am glad that you are able to see some balance in your life (although, it can be hard to see sometimes...).

I hope everyone is ok...

Sue said...

Hope you find a figurative river to help you escape some of this. Hang in there.

Lyle said...

Homemade cookies are a good comfort food. Bake on!

Ryan and Susie said...

Sounds like an emotional roller coaster. I'm glad you recognize the real blessings in your life. If I were a Dr. I would prescribe a fun evening of friends, laughter, and good fondue. Won't you join us?