Tuesday, October 09, 2007

finally! questions answered!

If you've been a fly in my kitchen lately, you've been hunted down and killed with much rage and perhaps even with my bare hands, but more likely a shoe. But before you died, here's what you heard almost every time I answered the phone:

"Yes, it's true, I am. . . . Yes, again. . . . Yes, on purpose."

And on and on.

So let's get right to it, and we'll see how it all turns out.

Q & A Time!

Are you pregnant?

Yes, I am.

Again?

Yes, again.

Was this a surprise?

No, it was planned, prayed for, and caused much rejoicing. PS -- thanks for saying 'surprise' instead of 'mistake'.

But...your son...he's still...

Yes, a baby. I'm aware. He'll be a year old on Wednesday.

Wow! So that will make them...

...19 months apart. This is wonderful to me. They will grow up together. I love this idea.

Huh. So...how are you feeling?

Like crap on a cracker.

Have you thrown up?

No, I only feel like throwing up every waking moment. Is that better than actually throwing up? I'm not sure, but as for me and my house, we're gonna go with NO.

But other than that, are you okay?

'Other than that'? Seriously? Okay. Let's pretend that this nausea doesn't consume my every thought/move/emotion: I'm also tired. Exhausted.

Oh, did you not sleep well last night?

Um. I have not slept through the night since 1998.

Well, you're probably so tired because you work now.

Right. Not like before, when I was just at home not working. But now that I have a job, you know, so I can pay for my boat, yeah, I'm extra tired.

Well, and you have all those other kids to take care of.

It's their fault? No. It's nobody's fault. I once read that an in-her-first-trimester woman's body uses more energy while just sitting than a man's body uses while mountain climbing. Let's remember that I'm growing a body. I'm going to go with THAT as the reason I'm tired, not the kids whose bodies have already been formed, and who can get their own cereal and/or toast.

BONUS QUESTION FROM PEOPLE AT MY PLACE OF WORK:
Is this your first?

Well... ha ha ha! Bless your soul! No, it's my sixth. (*mental note: Find out what am I doing at work to make people think that I'm only 22.)

When are you due?

El nueve de Mayo, 2008 Year of Our Lord.

Is it a girl? (This question came from my 6-year-old.)

I don't know.

Do you hope it's another boy? OR Now that you have your boy, do you want another girl? OR Do you think it's a boy or a girl?

Let me start out by telling you that if you ever again deign to begin a sentence to me with "Now that you have your boy", you and I will no longer be speaking to one another. Back to the question: This sounds cliche, but I want the baby to be healthy. And alive. Is that too much to ask? As far as gender is concerned, I haven't had any inclination one way or another. Really.

What will you name the baby?

Atchafalaya. We're tossing around a middle name...LeMar?

Will you find out if the baby is a boy or a girl?

Yes. It will be a great Christmas gift.

You haven't even heard the baby's --

Atchafalaya.

--sorry. You haven't even heard Atchafalaya's heartbeat yet. Isn't this too early to announce your pregnancy?

It's risky. But here's why we did it: This is, in all probability, our last pregnancy. I have loved being pregnant. My body has loved it. It's something I'm good at. To think that this is a chapter of my life that is closing so quickly after it has opened is so overwhelmingly bittersweet. I want to enjoy each day of this pregnancy and share it with all around me, as it is likely my last.*

Do you have any cravings?

I wish. I can't find my outlet -- the One Thing, the Go-To, the Never-Fail. Do you have any suggestions? FYI -- chicken is OUT.

What do your kids think?

They can't wait to meet Atchafalaya. They're very, very excited.

Will you have the baby at home or at the hospital? Doctor or midwife?

At the hospital, with a doctor. What's that? You know someone who blahblahblah? Great! I'm going to the hospital, where I will meet my doctor, who will deliver my baby. I will probably have as many drugs as I can, and stay in the hospital as long as my insurance will allow. I will take pain medication and the nurses can watch Atchafalaya in the nursery so that I can sleep. And when I wake up, someone will bring me my meal (that I didn't cook!) while I sit in bed and watch The Price Is Right. It's how we roll.

Thanks for answering my questions today.

You're welcome.

Anything else you'd like to add?

Just this warning: if you ask any more questions, be prepared: I'm in Mother Bear mode, and I WILL be honest in answering.

* - yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you know this one lady who thought she was done having kids and then her baby was 11 and -surprise!- she was pregnant again. And you also know this couple in your parents' ward who, at age 45, got this feeling that one more person needed to come to their family, so they got pregnant again. I am not talking about situations like these, to which I am, by the way, completely open (Personal Revelation is my big platform), but rather the planning of my life, as we are. So there.

37 comments:

JC said...

Congratulations! I love the name. I mean, it's perfect. Litte boy or little girl Atchafalaya. It just works.


(is that place still around? I haven't been to Provo for quite some time.)

Julie said...

I love you, ~j.




Growing bodies is hard work.



I'm with you on the hospital, doc, drugs, and nursery thing. AMEN, sistah.


And I'm first! (for once)

Julie said...

Okay, I guess I'm not first. Never mind.

La Yen said...

Question:
What if you are carrying a boy AND a girl AND another boy. Which will you love more.

Question:
If Little ~J reads Anne of Green Gables by due date, will you allow her to use her skills to "mother?"

Question:
How much is the shampoo at your work?

Question:
Don't you think it is selfish for you to work when you could be home embroidering three-page testimonies on each of your children's future baptism gowns?

Question:
Have you tried the old Totinos's thin crust standby?

Question: You want I should book a hotel for Mayo the Once and take the remainder of your children there for the weekend so youse can sleeps?

Question:
Which is the best bear?

british babies rock! said...

So. Is it wrong that I have now decided that since:

a) I don't have someone constantly telling me that we can't handle any more kids

b) I find myself unexpectedly (not sure if this would be called a surprise or a mistake and in whose book) in the throes -- hey! it's the word of the week -- of growing another baby

and

3) I have no idea if I'm yet having a boy or a girl

That I adore being pregnant and having kids? I probably would have never said that before. Shh .. it's a secret!!! I'm wondering if the Big Man can just give me someone who will let me have like 2 more after this one too so I don't have to continue in my current single state to get them all (that might get a little tricky seeing as it already is, sort of. You know me :)

ps. did I just say this out loud?? I'm posting anony so you can't tease me for it later.

jessyca said...

Congrats! Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months for you and a lifetime of health and happiness for little Atchafalaya.

La Yen said...

Nest time someone asks if it was on purpose please respond "Well, if you want to know a secret, Papi and I have been having a lot of marriage troubles, so I went off of the pill to make him stay with me."

AzĂșcar said...

Middle name: ABGs.

Did you catch Kelly Kapur's look at the camera right after announcing her pregnancy to Ryan? BEST PART.

I am committed to helping you find your outlet.

~cari~ said...

Very exciting!

I hope you're feeling better soon. Nausea is awful!

compulsive writer said...

No more questions from me. Just a huge I absolutely LOVE this post! and big HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to Bubby today!

swampbaby said...

Yea! And you go, girl!

Bek said...

Yay for J!! I am sorry you are sick. That is the worst. I just realized that today I haven't been sick at all!! I think I am on the tale end (but oh, the 16 weeks of puking multiple times a day...) I don't know what is worse, the puking or just feeling like you want to. Also food not tasting good. agh. I wish I could have your kids over for a few hours and give you a break.

As for the spacing, my last three are all 18 months apart. It is hard at first, but now (at ages 1.5 and 3) they are great, they play together, nap at the same time, etc. It is really fun. You will be great.

As for the boy or girl thing. I hate that. It would be nice if it was a boy (shared room, share clothes) etc, but nice if it is a girl because HOW GREAT will Bubby be as a husband someday with all those sisters to mother him? (my brothers have 5 sisters...or as my husband says, 6 mothers). ;-)

Here is to feeling better. Should we do a wicked "bring on the babies" shower/lunch at Christmas time?

Anonymous said...

I had a question for you but now I am scared to ask.

Lucky Red Hen said...

How about Atchafalaya MeLar? You DO live in Utah and people there REALLY like mucking up a perfectly good name spelling.

There's my platform. I'm proud to know you.

Really proud.

Cardine said...

Wow. It's times like this when I feel sort of old. I mean, you will be done having kids by the time I start having kids (if I ever have kids). That's a strange thought.

My younger sister and I are 18 months apart. I have totally loved it, and I really appreciated my mom who went through all of that work to care for all of us kids.

The checker at Wal-Mart last night told me that a polygamist had come into the store with SIX! kids under 10. I told her that my mom was like that. She was speechless. Except I didn't tell her that my mom had 7.

RC Cola! said...

Congrats!

lisa v. clark said...

Just one more question in two parts: Are you going to lower the bar? And How AWESOME ARE you?!?!?

sue-donym said...

Atchafalaya, a name near and dear to my heart.

Will he (because I know it is a he) come out smelling like cigarette smoke? Cuz if so, gross!

~j. said...

JC - thanks! Yes, it still stands, bright and beautiful, on Center Street.

julie - thank you! Yes, it is hard work. How are you feeling?

~j. said...

la yen -

Answer: Probably the one who comes out first. Shouldn't all firstborns be loved the most?

Answer: The idea is that those books inspire her to know how to mother her own children, not mine.

Answer: gaaaahhh *gum-snap* Can I use your phone?

Answer: Not at all. Now that I have a job, I can afford to buy the pre-testimonied gowns at the DB.

Answer: Yes. And yuck.

Answer: You come up whenever you want, for however long you want. I wouldn't wish a weekend at a hotel with my kids on anyone but myself.

Answer: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

~j. said...

british baby - I love that you just said that. I LOVE it. It can be our little secret. Or you could tell everyone. Good for you.

~j. said...

Jessyca - thank you! Welcome to my blog. (ps -- since you don't live around here, I'll let you in on the joke: Atchafalaya is the name of a trashy, trashy club in Provo.)

~j. said...

azu'car - YES! Also: "We have a date!"

cari - thank you! You are sweet.

cw - thank you! Bubby had his first day of front-facing carseat-dom. He can't get enough.

swampbaby - Thank you! How was your recent 1 year old's bday?

~j. said...

bek - I'm so glad you're feeling well! YES on the babies lunch at Christmas. You name the time, it shall be arranged.

~j. said...

anonymous - don't be a-scared.

lucky - I know how you get with names. You so crazy.

cardine - I'm glad to hear that you had such a good experience being so close in age with your sister. And...is 6 under 10 weird? Even 7? I don't think it's all that weird. 10 under 6 might be a little odd...

~j. said...

rc - thank you! I'm so happy to see you here AND know that we're bffs on myspace.

lvc - oh, MAN! Lowering the bar alone ups my awesomeness. I've been lowering the bar all summer long. And it will continue. Oh yes, it will continue. Have a great trip! Eat a Runza for me!

sue - If not smelling like cigarette smoke, then certainly singing some Tone Loc.

sue-donym said...

That is where I first tried a Funky cold Medina.

Totally kidding.

b. said...

LeMar's......yeah, those were the days.

Sue said...

Congratulations!!!! My first two were 16 months apart. It's been fantastic - they are best friends.

I really DID think you were 22. Something about the picture up there...

Yours Truly said...

You rock the house :) People say to me all the time, "So fun that you are having a boy!!! Aren't you excited?" And I say (as you know), "I don't care... It's a BABY!" What's the deal? And... I always knew you were She-ra. You will be just fine with Bubby and Baby so "close" together. Me on the other hand? ... you might want to get me registered for that soft room...
I love this post. I just have to second the motion...
Can we come ride on your boat sometime? ;) The nerve of some people!

Yours Truly said...

I'd like to add something else that drives me CRAZY: going to the doc or to the hospital to pre-register to have your baby and being asked, "So will you be having your tubes tied?"
Like I'm going to say, "Oh, yeah, I forgot that small detail... " Don't you think I would have remembered to bring something like that up if I were wanting that?

c jane said...

okay, wait. so you are pregnant right?

Jennifer B. said...

Congratulations! We have a few things in common. Hope you feel better soon and enjoy all the fun stuff.

Queen Scarlett said...

Too lazy/tired to read everyone's comments...but how do you pronounce Atchafalaya?

{natalie} said...

yay jenny....i'm excited for you to have this lil baby. and i love all your answers, you crack me up!

Kacy said...

When can we REALLY start talking about names? Because that's fun. I thought your daughter was really named Curly for about 3 days. Maybe she is. I don't understand some of these internet conventions. Curly is a really cute name, by the way.

Tori :) said...

Hey- where'd my comment go? I don't remember what it said, but I remember typing it...