My bedroom is freaking awesome. It's so big (don't ask dimensions: math's hard). High ceiling. Excellent view. Walk-in closet. Bathroom. It's the first of our bedrooms that's fit more than our king-sized bed.
The problem is that my bedroom is the only thing which occupies the 4th floor of my house. Why is this a problem? Because rather than being my haven, it has become my catch-all.
I wish I could accurately paint this for you: it's been a wicked-bad mess since we moved in, almost 4 years ago. My tradition is that I spend all of conference weekend (that's twice a year, folks) locked in my room, "to clean it". What I actually do, AFTER SPENDING NO FEWER THAN EIGHT HOURS ON IT, is make a teensy dent.
I've decided to change all that. If we ever move, I don't know that we'll ever have such an awesome bedroom again (unless we design it ourselves, in which case, I imagine we'd design it after this one, plus add a fireplace with a tv over it). But for now, I want to ENJOY IT. I realized that my main problem is that I never spend any time up there. I put stuff up there while I'm cleaning downstairs, stuff to be dealt with later: mail, toys, clothes, younameit. Next thing I know, it's 1:30 in the morning and I'm stressing out about how I need sleep but can't find it, and I make myself go up to bed, only to find it covered in piles: stuff to fold, stuff to hang up, stuff to shred, stuff to recycle, stuff to fix, stuff in which to replace batteries, stuff to file, stuffstuffstuffstuff, which all gets thrown onto the floor -- on top of all the other days' stuffs.
And so it began, with the springey fever that is about us, that I began to clean. UPS-sized cardboard boxes filled with papers and toy pieces and such are dumped out and what remains to be kept is a pile of seven papers. (I realize that I have Pack-Rat Disease; cut me some slack. I'm a recovering 'just-in-case' girl, striving to realize the idealistic minimalist inside.) I put things in their place, but inevitably I run into a problem:
That stuff right there belongs in another room...which also needs some serious cleaning.
And so the cycle begins, that ridiculous phenomenon where, in order to clean, you have to make an enormous mess. For some reason, I can't fit this into my multi-tasking. I can cook, make phone calls, write checks, give baths, get people dressed, and a whole lot of other things while I'm holding the baby. But for some reason, I just can't clean as a multi-tasking activity; at least, not the kind of cleaning that I know needs to be done, and this frustrates me a great deal.
It's not easy when the only time I feel I can effectively clean is when Darin is home to hold the baby and manage the other kids. Sometimes, after I've done a.m. carpool, I'll spend a little time in my room, Bubby in the bassinet and Superstar downstairs watching tv while I go through some papers or fold clothes or whatever. But then later I realize that Superstar was watching tv for, like, 2 & 1/2 hours straight without me talking to her, just so I could get a few things done. That's not how I want it to be. And I'm the LAST person to think that "kids shouldn't watch tv" (don't get me started...), I just feel that I could have used Superstar's awake hours in a more effective manner, you know? Better for both of us.
And so one of my struggles is letting go of the home *sigh*, most especially when I have a newborn (or post-newborn, whatever). I am confident that things will get better, organizational-wise, once IKEA gets here (oh hurry up, oh hurry up...).
Am I the only one who deals with this nonsense?
Today's Yay: The whole day, really...which will have a post of its own, probably later in the week.
Today's Boo: Yeah...it will be 1:30 soon, and I can't find my sleep.