Monday, August 21, 2006

in the past 48 hours...

A gal that I visit-teach lied directly to me and also about me.

She does not know that I know this.

I am well nigh infuriated.

Do I seek out an assignment change?

21 comments:

Tara said...

Just kick her *** and be done with it.




jk.



I guess it depends on if you care about working it out with her or not. If it really matters and is going to be eating away at you, confront her.

compulsive writer said...

Oh am I bugged for you too--I absolutely HATE being lied to, second only to being lied about!

You might consider sitting on it for a bit and see how you feel. Sometimes you can eventually talk these things out--I had that chance when someone came to me about some things she had heard I had said--which I most certainly did not--and I was glad she gave me a chance to address the issue.

And other times they don't. I had to request a change recently when someone I taught wrongly accused (behind her back) one of my friends of doing something she didn't and I didn't see anyway to get around feeling disloyal to one or the other when a battle involving reporting things to the police was about to begin.

Good luck. I'm glad I don't know anyone else in your ward so I won't have to go beat her up for you. (Kidding. I haven't really beaten anyone up since I was in 5th grade.)

Kiki said...

Me, I would ask for an assignment change (assuming I did my visiting teaching in the first place), and then I would confront her. I couldn't see myself still working with her after the lies, and I shouldn't be expected to. I'd have a really bad taste of contempt in my mouth.

MOM said...

I think you can be a great POSITIVE influence in this woman's life-- so no don't ask for an assignment change. But I think you should let her know that you are aware of the lies and how it literally stunned you when it occurred--and that it hurt. That's all for now. Love you ! Mom

wendysue said...

See, I'm with Carrie. . .I'm just terrible about getting my VT done. . .

I say stick it out and see what happens in the next couple months. . .if nothing resolves (meaning her apology) then ask to be reassigned. Maybe a pretend lesson about truthfulness is in order??

Julie said...

Ooooo...I love giving pretend lessons about principles that the "student" really needs. Probably not a nice thing to do, though. My son hates it when we do that in FHE.

That's a tough situation. I think I'd give it some time before doing anything hasty like asking for a reassignment. Confronting her kindly, like your mom said, would be a good idea. Don't the scriptures tell us we should do that when someone wrongs us? Of course, that's always easier said than done. I personally HATE confrontation of any kind.

Tori :) said...

This happened to me, except it was MY VT that was talking about and lying to me. And it was all so stupid. Anyway- I never said anything about it. I just killed her with kindness and made it clear in our VT sessions what really happened in the false story she'd been spreading.
I wouldn't ask for a change. I would maybe let her know you know the truth without actually saying it.

Queen Scarlett said...

You're the best judge on this situation. What does your gut tell you? Also - you know yourself best. Is it just going to annoy you that you have to deal with this person in your life or can you swing with it?

I know myself well enough that I just eliminate toxic people from my life. I don't need the aggravation. When I do eliminate them from my life - I never regret or give a second thought. I'm too busy surrounding myself and my family with people who add to my life and whom I can add to, to deal with those that haven't grown up yet.

Your post is giving me a prod to post about this chic who just turned 30 and is CRAZY - insane.

You have the right to judge what you want in your life and what you don't. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to tolerate bad behavior - you don't. In fact, don't get me started on the word "tolerate" one of the most disgusting words ever.

Regardless - make the choice that you'll be good with - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Cardine said...

I agree with queen scarlett. You are the best judge of how you feel about it.

I don't think anything is worse in visiting teaching than having someone who doesn't like you act like they love you. It's not very beneficial to either party. I would rather have someone not come than do that.

If you can actually get over it or solve it with her in an amicable and loving way, that's great for you.

I hope that everything works out!

nie nie said...

i hate visiting teaching

La Yen said...

I say we stomp her, then we tattoo her, then we hang her, and then we kill her.

Kayla said...

Do we ever really get away from all that middle school drama?

~j. said...

Thanks, everyone. I'm going to try something today. The outcome (her reaction) will determine what I do as far as asking for a change. We'll see how it goes.

tara - you only think you're jk. tee hee.

nie nie - I love that about you. If I'm honest with myself, I think I agree with you more than half of the time.

yen - i'm trying to use the phone.

kayla - certainly not in my neighborhood.

Lyle said...

I'm with la yen. Although we need to hang her from the topmost part of the tree and then cut the tree down after she's dead. jk.

Seriously, I hope you are able to talk about the issue and make amends. I grant you all the Irish luck that runs in me veins.

sue said...

"Well I'm with you fellas."

AzĂșcar said...

The personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. However, I would like to address your attitude of hopeless negativism--consider the lilies of the ---- field

Geo said...

Ex-lax brownies

LuckyRedHen said...

Confrontation is THE BEST (in a Nacho Libre accent); especially when I'm the one doing the confronting (instead of the other way around). More people need to be called to the carpet and not enabled to get away with their misdeeds (or Mr. Deeds for that matter).

I don't lie.

Lorien said...

see, here's how I work. I want to know the DETAILS! Give me the dirt. Expose and eviscerate her in blogworld.

How petty am I? I'm gonna burn some for that tendancy.

~j. said...

tee hee, Lorien. I've actually taken care of it all.

(that's not to say that when I next see you I won't talk your ear off about it all.)

ps - S.Y. getting married! Yay!

Melody said...

I am a negligent blogger ... too many other priorities... so I missed this party. You sure got a lot of responses! Quite a hot topic. I would have just directed you to the beatitudes which would have made some people want to vomit. But I'd do it anyway. Anyway, you seem like a conscientious woman who can work things out. Good luck and God bless you and that new baby-whenever it comes. Is it here all ready?

Blessed are the babymakers for theirs is the kingdom of poop.