Monday, March 27, 2006

uh, please don't correct me - it sickens me

There's this guy in my ward choir, Leatherjacket McKnowitall. He likes to make announcements such as, "There's a rest right there," or, "We're supposed to be singing in unison on page three." Thank goodness for that guy.

Yesterday at choir practice, he semi-barked to the accompanist, "There's a ritard right there," and so I was given the challenge of keeping quiet and not even mumbling, "You're the ritard."

Also at that practice, when I brought something to the choir director's attention, this guy butted in and was wrong. Friends, I do not speak up in a choir setting to point something out about the music unless I am absolutely sure of it. Be assured: I was correct in my point about this music. It's not debatable; music is like math (I know I'm not good with math, but I am with music) - it is what it is, written clearly on the page, not up for discussion or opinion. I don't mean an interpretation, as in, the director wants us to do it this way, and that's how it will be done. I mean, look, we're having trouble learning this piece, this particular measure, so let's take it apart and learn it...ahh, that's how it's written.

Poor Choir Director is a sweet, timid lady who will avoid conflict at all costs, so we ended up singing it WRONG because - who wants to fight that loud guy? After all, it's clear from the sheer volume of his voice that he knows what he's talking about, right?

Grrrr...

20 comments:

Bek said...

Love the name Leatherjacket Mr.Knowitall. You are one funny lady.

That is why I don't go to choir.

Not really, I don't go to choir because I am lazy. Good for you!

beans said...

have you ever heard OUR choir? some people say i'd be a great addition if i ever reactivated. however, i'm not so sure. but i must say... the organist is AMAZING.

AzĂșcar said...

This is when I insert foot in mouth and put McKnowitall On Notice ('cause nothing is better than one knowitall correcting another one, is it?)

This is why I'm not in the choir, can't keep my mouth shut (you'd THINK it would be an asset, but it's not.

"Ritard" made me snort...

~j. said...

Should I have said, "So's your face"?

compulsive writer said...

Choir practice can be the most trying of times. We don't have a Leatherjacket Mr. Knowitall (although yesterday I noticed several Mr. Niceblackleatherjackets), but we do have a few Wehaveadegreeinthisletustellyouhowitgoes kind of people. They are usually polite about it as well as right, so what do you do?

The thing that irks me is when a few people who haven't been for a few weeks get all uptight about "What? We are singing this next week? We (and they don't mean just themselves, they are assuming this about the entire choir) have never lain eyes on this before!" Sigh. Sometimes it's a bit difficult to sing with fresh teethmarks in your tongue.

We are blessed, however, with an amazing accompianist. She makes it all worthwhile...

LuckyRedHen said...

I like CW's accompanist page about Phil and the lemon-scented handiwipes. I've been giggling. I don't sing at church, it gives me a headache. Little tid-bit about me for you.

c jane said...

Beans we need you in the choirs of angels...

come back into the fold.

MOM said...

Okay, if the director is a timid little thing, someone with knowledge (YOU JENNY ECKTON!) needs to speak up and let her know that the ritard is wrong. It would probably only take a time or two to humbly show his errors and he would quiet down. That is unless he is Mr. Smith.
Our choir does indeed have an excellent accompanist. We could also use Beans. We NEED Beans! She would be great in so many callings! So, I will ask all of you please pray Beans back into the fold.

Julie said...

Awww, compulsive, you make me blush!

~j: I LOVED your unspoken ritard comment! Made me snort too.

wendysue said...

I'd pay good money (ok, check-bouncing money) to watch you call him "Mr. Ritardando". Just so ya know.

JC said...

Is he tone deaf too? Those usually sing the loudest.

Lorien said...

I'm not in the choir (the one with compulsive and julie) but I would have expected something slightly different than what compulsive shared. Because I'm pretty sure that Leatherjacket's brother, Plaidshirt McKnowitall, is in our ward and sings in the choir. But maybe he's just saving his expertise for comments in other arenas.

Julie said...

And what would Plaidshirt's alias be, Lorien? I'm curious. I know who the "Wehaveadegreeinthisletustellyouhowitgoes" person is, but I'm curious who Plaidshirt is.

~j. said...

Just want to interject and welcome Julie. I've been a lurker on your blog for sometime, and I could only hope to be dubbed something as lovely as "Sister Pottymouth". I'm afraid I'd quickly get fired from my calling... Welcome.

Lyle said...

My wife goes to choir and recently Leatherjacket's redneck second cousin's favorite roomate's boyfriend recently started spouting off in our ward choir. It seems like every organization has a resident expert on keeping the rest informed and "on key" as it were.

ps. I lurk too at times.

Julie said...

Thanks, Jenny. I just added your blog onto my links because you write some great stuff. I'm glad to welcome a fellow lurker to my blog any time.

Funny thing about being named Sister Pottymouth: our YW President said to me, after the swearing incident, "I had hoped to have at least ONE person on my side. Apparently I was wrong." Ooops. At least she hasn't asked to have me released...yet.

~j. said...

And welcome, Lyle. I've 'seen' you around and also lurked.

Julie - Sheesh. The politics of callings slays me.

beans said...

how could i be in the choir? i wouldn't want to take aunt terry out of her starlicious spot.

Sue said...

I am laughing out loud right now. I know who leatherjacket Mcknowitall is, and bless you for feeling the same way. I have felt the choir getting better and now I know it must be because of his brilliant knowledge of all things ritard.
Is choir on the list of "getting back to basics"?

~j. said...

You mean along with going to the "Temple" and having "Family Prayer"? I'll have to check. :)