Sunday, January 01, 2006

the number one killer of domestic cats

I am always in such a mood on New Year's Eve. It used to be sadness, now it's more of reflection.

I reflect on things that happened during the year...things I'd like to happen again (eating curry) and things I would NOT like to happen again (miscarriage). I try to remember what I was like a year ago (heavy), and what I'd like to be a year from now (thin). I always wish I could be in NYC.

I've been thinking on this topic for awhile: eliminating the crap from my life. This could mean a lot of things. Mainly, what I've decided to focus on, are the dream-squashers. I have dreams, still, that flicker and have not gone out yet, and I've decided to not let the Debbie Downers in my life get to me. And to not be one myself. Also, the bullying I get can go. I do try to not dish it out, but I receive it quite a bit, making me feel like I'm some sort of a chicken.

I want to be a particularly positive influence for the YW that I lead. I need to help them know that they can be and do whatever they want to, that it is possible to have just about any career and still live Gospel Standards (not what I was told).

Same goes for what I teach my daughters.

I'm going to gain lots (not weight, knock), and lose lots. That's what I'll do.

Farewell, 2005. I hardly knew ye.

24 comments:

Bek said...

Good one. Who are your dream squashers? People or situations? Good resolutions......

R

AzĂșcar said...

It's official....I can't have children.


How about a resolution to go to more late movies with your new friends? Can you do that one?

lisa v. clark said...

How about a resolution to eat curry with your new friends? Then you're getting two in one. . . we could egg the dream-squashers' houses. . .

~j. said...

Bek - mainly people, and the same people over and over again; and it's a combination of the dream-squashing, bullying, and downer-ing: I feel like certain people are trying to fit me into a mold that - guess what! - I don't fit into, and - guess what else! - I don't HAVE to fit into to be of value.

Interestingly, one thing that has helped me realize this about myself is Rae, she being me, and I already recognize that no four walls will ever contain her. I love that about her, and see it as one of her best qualities.

Carina & Lisa - EXCELLENT ideas. Perhaps we could combine - Late Night Curry & A Movie for Non-Dream Squashers Only. I'll bring the Tums.

little seester said...

there's a lady that bullies me at work. i like lisa's idea of egging her house rather than dad's oldie but goodie, "just haul off and punch 'em". i like your resolutions jenny. i want to resolve to be more patient because as of lately my patience has been tried in many ways... mainly at school and work. now i'm just rambling.

La Yen said...

We girls can do anything, right barbie?

~j. said...

math's hard.

La Yen said...

I love you more than bunnies.

Queen Scarlett said...

Jenny - I feel the same way... but mostly in my head... I can't figure myself out. Does that make sense? I feel as though I should be able to fit myself into a slot...but I have so varied interests, speech patterns, behavior and beliefs... that I keep feeling like a misfit because I can't peg myself down. Which makes me wonder if I make people nervous because they can't categorize me and just get on with it.

Now that I've shared this...one of my private thoughts... should I have just kept that in my head? ;-)

And... please pass the curry... LOVE curry.

And... I can't do math. Asian with no math skillz... unlike most people - numbers enter my head and sit there and stare at each other. Numbers go to other people's heads, party, hook up and create all sorts of new amounts... not mine...my math parties bite.

beans said...

who's barbie? and on another note, i had a random thought about your previous post... a few things you think are funny... and i thought about how funny little emma was the day she and rae went with me to run errands and in the middle of it all, she said, "tia, i miss my mommy. can we go home now?" but anyway, who's barbie?

~j. said...

Queen - that does make sense. Thanks for sharing that. It's a feeling that's not always easy to put into words. I re-wrote that part of my post at least five times trying to figure it all out.

beans - Barbie is the name of a rather popular doll. The first Barbie was founded in 1959 by Ruth & Elliott Handler and their friend, Harold Matson. The name Mattel come from Matson and Elliot. Barbie got her name from the Handlers' daughter. I think you had some Barbies when you were a young lad. My daughters have a few. Barbie's mission in the past has been to empower girls, ie, "We girls can do anything!", but I recall a certain model of Barbie that had a voice chip saying, "Math's hard - let's go to the mall!", which model lasted on the market about one day.

Does that help?

Queen Scarlett said...

Just played Cranium last night and we got this data head card...

Polygraph:

A Barbie Doll introduced in 2000 sported the doll's first official belly button.

True or False?

La Yen said...

If it is true, I am not buying them for The Jooj. Belybuttons and genetalia are two things that I think are better left at home...

Queen Scarlett said...

Then I guess someone's not getting a Barbie... it's TRUE. You know what - never had a Barbie myself... I do remember having a Donna Doll. She wasn't quite as boob-heavy and waist-tight as Barbie... Donna Doll was more accessible ...but not as bendy.

Lorien said...

You made me think of Malibu Stacey. I love Lisa Simpson. I hate Barbie. And my 5 year old loves everything pink and barbieish. What'll I do?

~j. said...

I've never gotten a Barbie for my girls, they've always come as gifts from other people. I used to be staunch anti-Barbie, but now I don't think it's a big deal.

La Yen said...

I grew up with Barbie--I played with my mom's and with mine. My two favorite were Solid Gold Barbie and Malibu Barbie with tan lines. Luckliy, my old ones and my moms really old ones survive, so Jooj will be ok. I love Barbie, but not new divorcing Barbie with belly buttons.

Geo said...

Because I'm probably old enough to be your mamas, I can remember having a "Growing Up Skipper" doll. Skipper was (is? because families are forever?) Barbie's little sister. The great thing about Growing UP Skipper was that if you cranked one of her arms all the way around she would go from being flat-chested and short to having boobs and a longer waist. I really thought it was funny to send her backward through puberty.

Jenny, with the exception of wanting to be in NYC, I discovered that we are almost identical people in your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. Except, of course, that I could be your ma. Come to think of it, I could say your 4th paragraph as well. I'm a two-time YW vet, and I still claim my girls as my own. 5th paragraph--yeah, me too, when mine get here. 6th--I'm with you.

Thanks for visiting me and leaving a trail to your blog. It'll now be one of my frequent stops. : )

Queen Scarlett said...

Barbie is divorced? Where have I been? Then again - Ken was a little too pretty to be straight (and I thought he was too vanilla). Speaking of which... when I was at BYU, one of my guy friends (ex-bf #1) told me about a late night conversation a bunch of guys were having ... #1 said that my ex-bf #2 made the comment that if a guy was gay he should get married to a girl anyway, to "cure" himself. ex #1 thought that wasn't a good idea because the person would be living a lie... I'm like HELLO that's just RUDE (to put it lightly) - what about the other person who doesn't get the love of their life??? And ex #1 thought - oh...we didn't think about it from the girl's point of view. Smart boys eh? So I guess I take Barbie's side.

~j. said...

Geo - welcome. I'm glad you're here. And I'm glad to know we have things in common. And I remember Skipper.

Queen - maybe those boys need to read "Goodbye, I love you".

cabesh said...

Um, Bonazza, if #1 and #2 are who I think they are....then I'm glad there was a Ryan.

Queen Scarlett said...

LOL - I think you do know who 1 and 2 are... email me and I'll let you know.

hehehehhe

Remember baboso? He's back in utah again!

Queen Scarlett said...

I just went on amazon to check out the book - I heard about this... I'm so curious now...I think I want to read it... the poor woman.

Rachel said...

I'm learning a lot about following dreams, too. sometimes i think that my aspirations are all fluff and foolery (whatever that means), but i have to trust my gut and realize that i'm a fine person with a good head on my shoulders and most importantly, good intentions. and so are you!